


Babysitting

by Shadowbeast123



Category: Sing (2016)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-27
Updated: 2017-03-01
Packaged: 2018-10-13 20:26:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10521216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadowbeast123/pseuds/Shadowbeast123
Summary: Lance has to babysit his neighbor's quadruplets...this is going to be interesting.





	1. Chapter 1

_Okay,_ Lance thought to himself, as he looked in the fridge for some food. _Do I want to attempt to cook my own food? Or should I order a pizza and avoid burning down the apartment, but risk Becky's wrath since it's her money I'm spending? Speaking of money, I should really start looking for work._

Hearing someone knock on his apartment door, he shut the door to the fridge, and went to answer the door; looking through the peephole to see Mrs. P, his neighbor who lived two apartments down from him and Becky.

"Lance, I know you're in there," she said. "I heard your footsteps."

Damn it.

"What?" he asked, opening the door a crack to look at her.

"I need you to babysit the kids tonight," she said, seeing him roll his eyes. "Please. It's just for a couple of hours until my husband gets home."

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"I have to visit my mom in the hospital," she said. "I won't be back until later on tonight. But my husband will be home in a few hours, and I'll pay you."

"Okay," he said, only accepting after hearing he'd be getting paid.

Locking the door to his apartment, he followed Mrs. P back to her apartment, and was greeted by shrieks, wails, cries, and screams from the four baby porcupines in the playpen in the living room.

"Okay," she said. "They're dad should be home in a few hours like I said before. And be careful not to give Cory kiwi or Dory strawberries because they're...Lance, are you even listening?"

"What?" he asked, looking up from his phone.

Hearing her sigh over the wailing babies in the living room, Lance watched her give the babies each a pacifier before returning to him.

"There is a list of foods, on the fridge on what not to give the kids due to allergies, and foods they have yet to try," she said, showing him a list on the fridge. "Use it please."

"Okay," he said, looking over at the babies. "Which one's which?"

"The one in the blue is Cory," she said, pointing to a baby porcupine wearing a blue onesie, as one wearing yellow crawled over, and ran over one wearing red. "The yellow one's Troy, and the red one's Dory. The sleepy boy in green is Rory. And they're on a feeding schedule, and their feeding time isn't until after my husband gets back. So your job is to just make sure they don't leave the apartment or hurt themselves. Can you handle that?"

"Sure," he said.

"Okay," she said, sounding a little unsure before she gave each of the kids a goodbye kiss. "Thanks again Lance."


	2. Chapter 2

_This isn't so bad,_ Lance thought, as he sat on Mrs. P's couch with his phone; all four baby porcupines playing with their toys. _They're quiet and occupied._

Looking up from his phone to get a picture of the four babies, he just about dropped it; because all four of the porcupines had learned how to use their blankets to make a makeshift rope, and climbed out of the playpen.

_I spoke too soon._

Hearing a splash from the bathroom, he ran back there, and saw Troy playing in the overflowing water in the toilet because he had learned how to flush it, and flushed a roll of toilet paper.

"Troy," he said, turning off the water to the toilet, and picking up the sopping wet baby. "Now I have to give you a bath."

Hearing something fall in the kitchen, he ran out there, almost slipping in the water on the bathroom floor, and saw Rory and Dory climbing onto the counter because they had used the drawers as steps. The crash having been a sink of dirty dishes that had overflowed in the sink.

"Dory, Rory, get off the counter," he said, grabbing them before they could hurt themselves, and trying to keep Troy in his arms too.

Putting Dory and Rory back into the playpen, and taking away their means of escaping, he closed the drawers in the kitchen, and went to find Cory; who was stomping on tubes of paint Mrs. P had since Mrs. P was an artist before she had the quadruplets, and was smearing paint all over the walls with his paws.

"Cory," he said, picking Cory up too. "Now you need a bath."

Hearing Rory start crying in the living room, he went out to see what was wrong with him. And without even checking Rory's diaper, he could tell he needed a change because Rory's diaper leaked. And before Lance went to reach for the baby porcupine wearing the green onesie, he had to check his phone to see how long it had been since Mrs. P had left...and it had only been twenty minutes.

 _Well, look on the bright side,_ he told himself, as he picked up Rory, and then Dory because she kind of puked all over herself. _It could be twenty-five of these things._

Trying to keep all four baby porcupines in his arms, which was hard because he couldn't carry four babies at once, and they were all squirming. He finally got them into the bathroom, and put them into the tub for a minute before he mopped up the water from Troy's little play session with the toilet, unclogged the toilet, and then cleaned up the quadruplets. Which was harder than he thought, because Cory kept wanting to get out of the tub, Troy wanted his rubber duck, Rory was throwing a tantrum, and Dory was upset because Rory was flailing his arms and accidentally bopped her in the nose.

"Rory, that was not nice," he said to him, as he stopped Cory from getting out of the tub again.

After getting all four quadruplets cleaned up, and into some dry clothes; he put them on the floor, and gave them their pacifiers to try and quiet them down. But Rory was still having a fit, and spat his out; flailing his arms and once again hitting Dory in the nose.

"Rory," Lance said, looking the baby porcupine in the eye, and using a firm tone. "You do not hit your sister."

Seeing Cory crawl over to Dory, Lance thought he was going to try and console his sister since Dory was starting to cry. But no, Cory stood up, and peed on poor Dory. And Lance couldn't do anything in that moment but sit there in utter shock, because he had never seen anyone have the audacity to pee on their sister. Not even he did that.

"Cory," he said, trying not to bust up laughing because he couldn't believe he had to say this out loud. "You do not pee on your sister."

Seeing Troy crawl away from the group, Lance changed out the overnight pad that was in the playpen, and put a new one in; and out of the corner of his eye, he saw Troy pee in one of the house plants that was on the floor.

 _Well...he's half right,_ he thought, throwing away the pad, and watching Troy crawl back to his siblings. And it was then that Lance found out that Troy did not pee in the plant, he peed on the carpet next to the plant.

"Okay," he said, picking up the boys, and leaving Dory there for a moment; showing the three boys the training toilet next to the normal one. "You boys pee in here. Not on the carpet, or on your sister."

Feeling something warm on his leg, he looked down, and saw Rory had peed him.

"Or on me," he said, pinching his nose, as the boys giggled. "You guys don't even know how to walk yet, but you know how to pee on things."

Taking the boys out to the living room, he put them on time out, and picked up Dory to give her another bath. Feeling a little bad for the poor girl since she had gotten hit twice in the nose by one brother, and peed on by the other.

 _If this is how those boys are now, I can't even begin to think what they'll be like when their older,_ he thought, drying Dory off, and turning his body to grab a clean diaper from under the sink. Dory crawling over to the toilet, and putting down the child seat before using it.

"Good girl," he praised, giving her a high five before she finished up, and flushed the toilet, letting Lance dress her back up before he took her back to the living room, and saw Rory had gotten out of time out to use the TV remote as a teething toy.

"Rory, you do not chew on that," he said, taking the remote away, and putting the four baby porcupines back into the playpen. Sitting down on the couch, and checking the time again; one hour since he began babysitting these four. And he was curious as to when the dad would come home, because Mrs. P just said he'd be home in a few hours, she didn't give a specific time.

Hearing the phone in the kitchen ring, he looked at the number, and shrugged since he didn't recognize it; letting the machine get it, as he looked in the fridge for a snack.

"Hey honey," Mr. P's voice said on the machine. "Listen, I got caught up at work, and I won't be back until later on tonight. Sorry."

"Baby, come back to bed," a woman's voice said in the background before Mr. P hung up.

"Well, this relationship isn't going to last long," Lance said out loud, shutting the fridge, as Rory started fussing; and at least this time Lance knew to get a teething toy for him.

Reaching for the freezer to search for a teething toy, he heard the other three start crying, which made him look at the clock to see if it was time to feed them. And if his memory served him right, Mr. P normally wouldn't be home for the next hour or so, and Mrs. P said the quadruplets' feeding time wasn't until after their dad got home. But given the circumstances, and the fact he didn't see a need for a feeding schedule, Lance decided it'd be okay to break the rules a little bit and just feed them.

Going out to the living room to get the quadruplets, he felt his heart leap to his throat; because they had once again gotten out, and the crying was on an old recorder their mom had sitting in the playpen. So he had no idea where they were.

Hearing the boys giggling about something, he ran into Mr. and Mrs. P's room, and saw the boys sitting by the window. Just the boys.

"Where's Dory?" he asked them, opening the window, and looking out to see Dory had crawled onto the ledge outside the window, and was sitting there with her arms crossed. And because they were on the second floor, this sent Lance into panic mode.

"Dory!" he yelled, as Cory and Troy threw blocks at her head. "Cory, Troy, throw one more block and you two are going back on time out."

Hearing the window to his apartment open, he saw Becky poke her head out, and gave her a nervous smile.

"Oh, I see how it is," Becky said to him, as he got the boys away from the window, and crawled out to get Dory.

"Every time I ask for sex, you say no. But you gladly have sex with a married woman, and have four kids with her? You are such a pig."

 _Remember Lance, you brought this on yourself,_ he thought, reaching for Dory.

"Becky, do I look like I have a snout?" he asked.

"You know what I meant," she said.

"Well, for your information. I did not cheat on you. I'm babysitting, and I could use a hand."

Seeing her start clapping, Lance bit his tongue to keep from teaching Dory new words, and reached for her. His leg slipping out from under him, sending him over the edge, had he not grabbed the ledge with his hands. And it was then Lance remembered that he was afraid of heights.

"Becky," he said, feeling his heart rise to his throat.

"Get help please."

"No way, I'm not going to help you," she said, pulling her phone out, as Dory crawled back inside her apartment, and shut the window.

"Dory!" he yelled, letting out a startled yell because he almost slipped.

_I'm a dead porcupine._

Feeling his eyes fill up with tears because he was having a panic attack, Lance tried to pull himself back up, but the lion living between him and Mrs. P opened his window, yelling at someone, and threw out a perfectly good flat screen. Which made Lance both more scared because it almost hit him, and bit disappointed because that was such a waste of money.

"Dude!" he yelled at the lion, as he shut the window. Leaving Lance to dangle.

 _Okay Lance,_ he told himself, finding it more and more difficult to breathe because his heart was racing so fast. _It'll be okay, you just have to calm down, and get back inside. Easy as pie._

Gulping nervously, he pulled himself back up onto the ledge, and went to go back inside his apartment since Becky was sitting in the still open window. But she pushed him back, and he was right back to square one.

"Fuck you Becky!" he yelled, as the lion between them opened his window again, and tossed out a ceramic bowl. And again, Lance had to feel disappointed because while he was sure the bowl wasn't terribly expensive, it looked like something Mrs. P would use around the house.

Feeling the bowl hit him on the head and shatter, he cried out at the pain, and felt blood drip down his face from his cheek where a shard had cut him.

"What the hell!" he yelled at the lion, who once again shut his window.

Summoning his courage again, he pulled himself back up onto the ledge, and popped open the lock on the window to Mrs. P's apartment; going back inside, and into the living room to see that the boys had destroyed it, and Dory was in the corner drawing something.

"Why is she only behaved one?" he asked out loud, as he stopped Cory from pulling apart the lamp cord, Rory from knocking over the potted plant, and Troy from jumping on the sofa. All three boys covered in more paint from their mom's art bag. Which Lance had to clean up later.

Giving the boys another bath, he put all four babies in the play pen, and made triple sure they would not get out again before he cleaned up the living room, the hallway, and the bathroom; and did the dishes so Mrs. P wouldn't have to do that later before he melted into the couch to slow his heart down.

 _If this is what Ash's friend Rosita deals with every day with twenty-five piglets, I have a newfound respect for that pig,_ he thought, getting up, and shutting the window; locking it so in case the quadruplets got loose, they couldn't repeat what just happened.

Going back out to the living room, he looked at the time, and saw it had been an hour and a half since Mrs. P left, and just decided to feed the quadruplets.

"Who's hungry?" he asked, seeing all four heads turn to face him before they all started babbling.

Taking the quadruplets into the kitchen, he put them into their respective high chairs, and with Rory's reminder to use the list on the fridge, checked to see what and what not to feed them. But while his back was turned, he heard Cory knock over a bowl of fruit that was on the counter, and turned to see the blue onesie wearing porcupine chuck an apple at him. But because Lance saw it coming, he caught it, and put it on the counter.

"Nice try," he said, picking up the shattered bowl, and the now bruised fruits. Throwing away the broken ceramic, and once again checking the list; seeing all four babies had to try to eat pumpkin. Which made Lance judge Mrs. P a little bit, only because she had a perfectly good Baby Bullet on the counter, but yet the pumpkin mush she wanted the quadruplets to try was a prepackaged baby food.

Trying to get the babies to eat the baby food, he knew they weren't going to eat it because Rory turned his nose up until Lance tickled him, and then put the pumpkin mush into Rory's mouth while it was still open; but Rory spat it out onto his high chair, and voiced his distaste for the pumpkin. Then came Troy, who like Rory, Lance had to tickle to get him to eat one spoonful of the pumpkin goop; and Troy ate it, but he didn't like it either. Then came Dory, who took a big handful, and smashed into Cory's face.

"Dory," he scolded.

"Not nice."

Turning to grab a paper towel to wipe off Cory's face, Lance saw Cory try the pumpkin before Cory spat it into the older porcupine's face, and Dory shook her head, telling Lance she would not eat the pumpkin.

Wiping off his and Cory's faces, Lance heard someone knock on the door, and looked through the peephole to see the honey badger that lived across the hall standing there.

"Can I help you?" he asked, opening the door a crack.

"Is Matilda here?" he asked, using Mrs. P's first name.

"No, she had a family emergency, I'm just here to babysit her kids until her husband gets home," he said. "What do you need?"

"Well," he said.

"My mom dropped off some sugar pumpkins from her farm, and I don't have enough room for them. So I was wondering if maybe you'd like one."

Seeing the honey badger offer him a sugar pumpkin that wasn't very big, literally the size of a base ball, Lance took it and thanked him before he shut the door, and cooked up the pumpkin for the quadruplets, who all turned their noses up in distaste.

"Oh come on," he said, putting the now cooked pumpkin into the Baby Bullet, and blending it up.

"This stuff's different."

Seeing Troy show a new interest in the fresh pumpkin, Lance gave him a spoonful of the pumpkin, and Troy seemed to like this a lot more than the baby food; and then Rory and Cory tried it too, and they all seemed to like it. But Dory refused to eat it, and Lance knew she was hungry because he heard her stomach growl; but she didn't seem to like the pumpkin that much. Then Lance got an idea, and put a little bit of cinnamon in with the pumpkin; which enticed her to eat it without complaint.

Happy that all the babies were fed, he heard the phone ring, and this time, he answered it without looking at the number.

"Hello?"

"Hey Lance," Mrs. P said.

"I'm just calling to check in. How're the kids?"

"They're fine," he said, putting the now empty bowls in the sink, and wiping their mouths clean with a paper towel.

"They're taking nap now."

"Aw," she cooed.

"Well, just be sure they don't sleep too long. I don't want them waking up at three in the morning."

"Okay," he said.

"I'll see you later."

Hanging up the phone, he put the quadruplets back on the floor in the living room, and gave them some toys to play with; sitting there in relative piece for a little while before he got up, and looked at what Dory was drawing earlier. Only to see she was not drawing, she was trying to write the letter 'A', which she seemed to have trouble doing because she couldn't hold the crayon right, and it just turned into scribbles when she got to frustrated.

 _Something tells me she's a prodigy child,_ he thought, as Dory projectile vomited all over Cory, which made Cory cry.

"Cory, you peed on her a while ago. That was payback," he said to him. "And Dory, that was not nice."

Putting Troy and Rory into the playpen to keep them from getting into things; he took Cory and Dory into the bathroom to give them both another bath. And Lance wasn't going to lie, he felt a little stupid for not checking to see if Dory was sick earlier, because she did throw up on herself then too.

Drying the two of them off, he got them dressed again, and put Cory in the playpen with his brothers; going back to the bathroom to see Dory had thrown up all over the floor, and was starting to cry.

"I know honey, I know. You don't feel good," he said, picking her up, and feeling her forehead, which was kind of warm.

Giving her some baby medicine and water to try and get her fever down, he put her in her crib for the time being, and cleaned up the bathroom. Throwing all the dirty clothes into the hamper, as he went out to the living room, and saw the boys getting out again.

"Don't you even dare," he said, putting them back into the playpen.


End file.
